So, uh, you don’t like the old-time bikes, huh?

The penny-farthing, also known as the ordinary bicycle, is arguably the quintessential icon of old-timeyness. Its somewhat ridiculous appearance of a gigantic wheel coupled with a midget one looks mighty antiquated compared to today’s bicycles, whose seats are not currently on yonder up high like a woman’s height. However, the mismatched wheels weren’t an attempt to look hilarious — larger wheels went faster and were better at maneuvering because the cranks were connected directly to the ginormous front wheel. When the chain drive was developed, the penny-farthing was doomed to old-timeyness and the mocking by young whippersnappers.

And why was it called a penny-farthing? It was a pejorative term due to the ordinary bicycle’s wheels resembling a penny and a farthing (quarter penny) next to each other. Oh, remember what you could buy for a penny? A steak and kidney pie, a cup of coffee, a slice of cheesecake and a newsreel!
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Not Homeward Bound

Oh, hello. I like old-timey things, such as sleeve garters, vaudevillian acts and snake-oil salesmen with absolutely ludicrous pitches. I don’t know why, I just do. Perhaps I’m a modern-day Miniver Cheevy, but instead I look back on the days of old timeyness rather than the days of yore, except, you know, the drinking. Because we all know blogging is the new cause of, and solution to, all of current life’s problems.

So with that out of the way: Old-timey dog rape, and also old-timey regular animal abuse:

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